Modern Love Podcast: Loving Across Borders


At age 11, Julissa Arce got here to the United States on a visa that expired three years later. For greater than a decade, she lived as an undocumented immigrant, fearful of showing her secret to anybody. “Every phone call or email I got from human resources would make my blood run cold,” she wrote in her Modern Love essay.

And when it got here to like, she would lie to almost each man she dated, fearing the specter of publicity and deportation.

On in the present day’s episode, we hear about Julissa’s seek for love — and what it taught her about isolation and intimacy. Then we hear from two Modern Love listeners who’ve saved their love alive throughout borders throughout the pandemic.

Greg Cope White is a screenwriter dwelling in Santa Monica, Calif.; his associate, Bob, lives in Montreal. They have been collectively for almost 15 years.

They had been used to spending time aside, often one month at a time. But as soon as Covid hit, and launched journey restrictions, they had been pressured to be aside for for much longer — since January 2020.

To keep related, they observe a each day ritual that has turn out to be their salvation. When it’s 3:30 p.m. for Greg (and 6:30 p.m. for Bob), they’ve an elaborate “live Skype cooking show.” They spend the following a number of hours serving to one another cook dinner, savoring the meal, watching a film on the shared display and catching up. They haven’t missed a single day because the begin of the pandemic.

Credit…Greg Cope White

Was it love at first sight? Probably. Valentina Marinovich and Rafael Pavón De Gregorio met at a crosswalk in New York City roughly 4 years in the past. She’s from Chile; he’s from Spain.

After sustaining a long-distance relationship, they had been lastly prepared to maneuver in collectively in early 2020. Then the pandemic hit.

Valentina, who was finding out in New York City, returned to Chile, whereas Rafael was in Spain. The two determined to get married in order that Rafael could be allowed to enter Chile by the nation’s lockdown exceptions.

Since they weren’t but in the identical nation, Valentina had a proxy marriage with an acquaintance who represented Rafael. “We got married in this tiny office while my boyfriend was in the dentist,” Valentina mentioned. “I’m not going to say that it was romantic because it wasn’t.”

By October 2020, Valentina and Rafael had been capable of reunite in Santiago, Chile. She confirmed up on the airport hours early in anticipation. “It all came back to me — the smell, the feeling of his beard against my cheeks,” she mentioned.


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